Image Credit: © WnY.'.
Love em, or hate em, your family is the only family you’ll ever have so you should devote some time and energy into nurturing this side of your life.
They Come In All Shapes & Sizes
Even the word, “family”, can mean different things to different people. To me, a family is who you share your life with. The ones that you give over your most intimate bits of you. And you do so without any thought or concern for rejection.
Some families are massive. They encompass you, your spouse, your children, your aunts, uncles, cousins, in-laws, parents, grandparents, maybe even parts of families from previous relationships. Some families aren’t so big… just Mum, Dad, and maybe some kids. Others are tiny… just you (more on this type of family below). Now here’s the thing, a big close family is no better, or worse, than a small family. Or, at least, they don’t need to be. The common thing among families that work are that the members of the family all love, trust, and support each other.
A Well Oiled Machine
When you buy a motor vehicle you expect it to function properly and to take you from point A to point B with minimum of fuss. And usually this is exactly what happens. But it doesn’t happen without any input or work on your part. You have to feed your car. You have to keep it well maintained. Spend money on services, on fuel. You keep it clean so it doesn’t rust. And if you do these things it gives you years of driving pleasure. Neglect it, never have it serviced, forget to put fuel in it, and pretty soon you have a hunk of junk sitting in your driveway doing nothing but collecting rust. Families are a bit like a car. They usually perform the way you expect them to, but if you neglect your family, stop filling up the fuel tank, and pretty soon it’s collecting rust. And you can’t sell a 2nd hand family on ebay.
One In All In
A family only works when every member of the family works at making it work. Well, if you call unconditional love as being “work” that is. 
If your family doesn’t seem to “work”, take a closer look at yourself. Are you loving your family enough? Are you putting conditions on that love? Are you seeing trust issues? Feel that your family doesn’t support you enough? Whatever “problems” you might think your family has, it can be solved. And it will always start with you. Most of the time, these “problems” won’t be problems at all.
A lack of communication is very often the chief culprit of a dysfunctional family. How do you fix that? Talk to each other, and listen to what the other person is saying. And if you don’t completely understand what they’ve said, ask for further explanation. In fact, you should repeat back to them what they have said in your own words and ask if you’ve gotten it right.
What if your family is just distant from one another, in the emotional sense? Here’s a tip: they won’t ever come to you, you will have to reach out to them. Yes, that can be a scary thing to do. But it really is the only way. To be loved, the only thing you need to do is to love. And that’s really the bottom line. It’s what we all really want… to be loved.
A Family Of One
OK, so for whatever reasons you find yourself being part of a family who’s members total one… You. What do you do about that? Well that depends. Some people actually prefer their own company. Although I doubt that they are truly happy if they are alone all the time. A little secret that might help you if you find yourself in a family of one… you don’t need to be related to someone before they can be a member of your family. You just need to treat them as if they were.
The Benefits Of Family
Family is one of those “primordial foundations” of life that I’ve talked about in previous articles, so the benefits should be fairly self-evident. A healthy family gives you the stability and support that you need to grow into a better person. Look at any of the truly successful people throughout history, they all have family behind them. Your family will pick you up when you are down. Your family will believe in you when nobody else will. Not because they are nuts, but because they know, more than anyone else. that you are worth it. Because you are a part of your family, you will do all these things for everyone else in your family. And just like a self-fulfilling prophesy, it will strengthen your family which will strengthen you. What goes around, comes around, yeah!
Today’s Challenge
As soon as you finish reading this, I want you to get up and go give someone in your family a big hug and tell them that you love them. When they say “what was that for?” you just tell them: “oh, no reason, just because…”. If you can’t do that because of geographical location (you live away from the rest of your family), pick up the phone and call them!
Help me write more great articles like this, fuel my mojo with a coffee!
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Family always comes first. Always.
I often wonder where I would be now if I’d take a different career path when I was 18. But then I realise that if I had I would now have an amazing family and beautiful wife.
Family is everything to me
Don’t you mean.. would _still_ have an amazing family and beautiful wife… ?
No matter what life throws at us, it is good to know that the one constant is our family.
Family ROCKS!
Thanks for stopping by, dude.
Twitter: SteveYoungs
Doh! Typo!
Hi Steve,
All I ever wanted to do was fall in love, get married and have a few children so I agree totally about my need for love. If I didn’t have my family I’d end finding a substitute family like you intimate in your ‘family of one’ section because I would be lonely and lost without my family.
I read this post via my phone whilst bathing one of the children. I got her out and dressed and when I gave her a hug and told her I love her she didn’t act surprised at all. I liked that because it told me she knows already that she is loved (and she’s only 5!)
I couldn’t of done that Eleanor, I would have dropped my phone in the bath
Take if from someone who knows from personal experience… cell phones and water do not mix.
Twitter: SteveYoungs
Yeah sadly I have dropped my phone a few times in the clear stuff
Yep, kids are wonderful. When they love, they love completely. There’s no conditions, no questions, no doubts. And that is exactly how they view how everyone loves. And you know what? Children understand love a hell of a lot better than we adults do. I’ve never met an adult that can love like a child loves, but it is something that we should all strive for.
BTW, just in case you got the wrong impression, Eleanor, I wasn’t implying for a second that you have any doubts or conditions about your love for your children.
Twitter: SteveYoungs